Their Little Cowgirl Page 9

  "Will I what?"

  "Will you let me take you up on my horse? I won't put you on Shiloh, which was my original intention, and I won't put you on a horse alone, which was also my original intention. But I want you to see what it's like, to let her see that you tried it once, even if it's just for a few seconds."

  And what could she say? He wanted Suzy to have a picture of her on a horse, even though she was her mother in biology only. "Yes," she said, a bit too heartily as she nodded hard. "Yes."

  He barely moved. "Ben," he yelled, and the old hand came out from the barn.

  "I got ears. You don't need to bust my eardrums."

  "Can you or Charlotte get a camera? I want a picture of Jackie on Blue."

  "On Blue? Holy moly, Steven, that animal's twice as tall as her."

  "I know. I'll hold her. I'll keep her safe." And he said the words in a hushed voice, a sacred promise.

  Jackie nodded as Ben stomped off to get the camera. She followed Steven as he saddled Blue and led him outside.

  The horse was huge, and black—a giant among horses. But Jackie looked up into Blue's eyes and saw the communication that passed between man and horse. That trust and faith had been built over years. This horse would not betray this man.

  So when Steven helped her up onto the horse, in the brief seconds before he swung up beside her, she kept her eyes on Steven. She refused to give in to the fear that would have engulfed her on any other day.

  "I've never been on a horse," she conceded. "Nothing other than the pony rides when I was a girl, and those little ponies were always so sad. I worried about them after I saw them."

  "Good girl," Steven told her, and she wasn't sure if he meant the way she had sat on the horse while she waited for him, or the fact that she had showed concern for the captive ponies walking in endless circles.

  And then he looped his arms around her, and she forgot everything except his warmth, except how natural and safe it felt to be this way. For a few minutes in her life, she could look daring, and she had never been daring. For a very short time, she could look like she belonged to this way of life when she had never really belonged anywhere.

  "We're going to walk a little," Steven whispered near her ear, and it was all she could do to keep from leaning back against him, to keep from tilting her head so that his lips could touch her.

  "All right," she said a bit shakily.

  "Are you afraid? Tell me if you're afraid," he whispered again.

  She was afraid, very much so, but not of the horse. She was afraid of what she was feeling and wishing for right now.

  Jackie swallowed hard and felt Steven's chest brush her back. His legs encased hers, warmth and sensation skimming up her thighs where Steven's body touched hers.

  "I'm all right," she told him. "I'm not afraid." And, she decided, she wouldn't be. This was a good feeling, a wonderful feeling. If she was only going to have it once in her life, then she would enjoy it, and she would not feel guilty.

  "I'm wonderful," she said, and she laughed.

  His arms tightened about her. His legs brushed more intimately against hers. "You're amazing," he said. "You really are."

  "In what way?"

  She felt him shrug, the slow and subtle slide of his body against hers a delicious tug of sensation. "I come to you out of the blue, tell you that I have a child you helped make and insist that you go along with my terms. You walk into a lifestyle that is completely foreign to you. You put up with Charlotte, at least until you won her over. You put up with me. You agree to my terms all the way, nearly get kicked by a cow, flattened by a horse, manhandled by a…man—"

  "And kissed," she reminded him. "You kissed me." Jackie didn't know why she said that. She just felt like remembering that moment.

  "I did that, too," he said, his voice turning deep and thick, his body pressing closer against hers. She could feel the vee of his thighs where they cradled her buttocks. A shiver ripped through her.

  "Does it bother you to remember that?" he asked her.

  She turned a bit in his arms, as much as she could, which wasn't nearly enough. "Would it bother you if I told you that I liked it when you kissed me?"

  He didn't answer at first. Jackie felt the warmth seeping up from her throat. Why on earth had she said that?

  And then his hand came up and slid against her stomach. He stopped the horse and turned her head just enough to catch her lips. His heat and the force of his touch scalded her, thrilled her, made her want more.

  "It bothers me," he said thickly when he let her go, "because I liked it, too. And we both know I can't go there. I have Suzy, and you're the one woman I can't allow myself to desire."

  She closed her eyes. She knew that, of course. They were Suzy's biological parents. They couldn't play love games or games of passion. A child was caught in the middle. There was no future for Jackie here. Steven and Suzy couldn't have her here. She didn't fit, and neither she nor Steven wanted a long-term anything. So Steven and I can't do this, Jackie reminded herself. We could complicate things for Suzy.

  "You're right," she said softly. She did her best to keep her shoulders from slumping.

  "Let's take that picture," Steven whispered thickly. "For our daughter's sake."

  And his words, his acknowledgment of her as a mother, brought quick tears. She blinked furiously. When Ben snapped the picture, he had to take it again because Jackie was blinking so hard. In the end he took several shots at Steven's behest.

  And when Steven helped Jackie off the horse and she began to walk toward the house, she knew she and Steven would never share this kind of intimacy again.

  She had just ridden her first horse, and it had been the most exciting, fulfilling experience she could remember.

  "Never again," she whispered out loud.

  "What?" Charlotte asked as Jackie moved into the house.

  "I said, where's my knitting? I have to finish the blanket."

  Charlotte looked at the pathetic yellow mass. "I'll say one thing. You're not a quitter," she said.

  But Jackie knew different, because she was going to have to quit thinking about Steven. She was afraid she was going to start dreaming about him at night and wanting him all day long. And what would she do then?

  Chapter Nine

  "I can't believe you did that." Lissa had her hands on her hips, and she was glaring at Merry.

  Merry, in spite of her almost thirty years and her ancient appearance, bit her lip like a child. "It certainly didn't happen the way I planned it."

  "Steven could have been severely injured. For that matter, so could Jackie."

  "I just don't understand it. The horse wouldn't listen."

  "Maybe she was a sensible horse."

  Merry might have responded angrily in the past, but today she just looked worried. "I think I scared her."

  "Obviously."

  "And I didn't really help Jackie and Steven's cause. They're more determined than ever to ignore the attraction they're feeling."

  Lissa gave her godchild a concerned look. "Merry?"

  "It does seem a bit hopeless," Merry admitted.

  "Things don't always work out the way we've planned. You can't force every person to fit the mold you've made for them."

  Merry gave a bitter laugh. "That seems obvious. I just—"

  "What?"

  "I don't know. They seem more unhappy now than they did when I first threw them together." Her voice sounded sad. She walked away, her shoulders slightly slumped.

  Lissa's eyes widened. Merry had just showed a hint of concern for someone else.

  "But things don't always work out the way you've planned," she repeated, this time to herself. "Don't get your hopes up."

  She wouldn't. A week had almost passed, and Merry still had five couples to go. No progress had been made, and the clock—and the curse—wouldn't wait forever. Not for the first time, Lissa regretted that darned curse, but there was nothing she could do about it. Once it had been set in place, it was irr
eversible unless the terms were met.

  And now it didn't seem as if they would be, just as it didn't seem as if anything but regrets and bittersweet longing would come out of this time between Steven and Jackie.

  Steven was both dreading and looking forward to the next few hours.

  He turned to his daughter. "Ready to go try and make some new friends, pumpkin?" He held out his arms and Suzy lifted hers, waiting for him to pick her up.

  "I don't know how you can stand to go to that place," Charlotte said with a snort. "The noise alone gives me the heebie-jeebies."

  "I thought Steven said he was taking Suzy to a playgroup," Jackie said, looking up from her knitting. "You love children, Charlotte."

  "It's not the noise of the children I hate," Charlotte said.

  Steven laughed. "It's not that bad."

  "Hmpff. I'll just bet it isn't," Charlotte agreed, though her voice was laced with meaning.

  Steven frowned. "And it's not like that."

  Charlotte gave him the look. She glanced back to Jackie.

  "What?" Jackie asked, and it was clear that she didn't have a clue what Charlotte was talking about.

  The dad-blamed thing was that Charlotte was right, Steven thought. He gave Jackie a speculative look.

  "Don't even think of doing that to her," Charlotte said.

  "Doing what?" And now Jackie put her knitting aside.

  "He wants you to protect him from the mommy brigade."

  "Now Charlotte, that's not true, and you know it. It's just—I don't go there to meet women. I want Suzy to get a chance to meet kids. Sometimes it just doesn't work out the way I want it to."

  "He means that the women are trying to rip his shirt off while he's trying to organize a game of Simon Says with the kids."

  "That never happened."

  "Well, maybe not, but you lost a button." Charlotte held up her sewing.

  "It's a stupid idea to ask Jackie to do something like that, anyway," Steven admitted. "And it's unkind. I apologize," he told Jackie, "for attempting to take advantage of you."

  Jackie gave a quick jerk of her head. Steven cursed his poor phrasing.

  "What I meant was that I was going to use you as a shield so I could get some playtime in with Suzy. We don't do enough of that, at least not with other kids," he admitted. "I know she's a bit young for playing in a group, but I just want her to get used to being around other kids, since she'll never have brothers and sisters. Silly, I know."

  "You're inviting me to Suzy's playgroup?" Jackie asked.

  "Honey, he was trying to bamboozle you," Charlotte pointed out.

  "Nonsense. I am a businesswoman. I have had the best attempt to bamboozle me. This wasn't the same. Still, I didn't quite hear an invitation." She reached for her knitting again.

  Steven laughed. He dropped to one knee and reached for Jackie's pretty hand. "Ms. Hammond, would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the Kids Kamparound Play Group?"

  Jackie fluttered her eyelashes theatrically. "Why, Mr. Rollins, since you asked so nicely, I believe I will accept your kind invitation." She grinned and set her knitting aside. The yellow yarn mass was growing in both bulk and shapelessness. "A woman can take only so much humiliation with the needles in one day. When do we leave?"

  Steven chuckled. "Right now would be good. My carriage is your carriage," he said.

  "The pickup truck?"

  "Definitely."

  "You charmer, you."

  "I try real hard, ma'am." But he didn't have to try to joke around with Jackie, he realized. It just came naturally. She made it easy. Too easy, because he found himself wanting to be with her too much, to touch her too often.

  And today? That excuse about the women keeping him from Suzy and the kids?

  Well, no one kept him from his daughter if he didn't want to be kept from her. And he didn't.

  Besides, no woman had posed a danger to his sanity or strength of purpose since his marriage had failed years ago.

  Except for the woman right at his side.

  Jackie Hammond was ten times more dangerous than any of the women in his daughter's playgroup, and he had just failed another test with her. He had vowed to keep his distance, yet here he was, mooning over her again.

  The playgroup met in an empty meeting room of the local municipal building. Blue and red padded mats had been set up at one end of the room, and there were lots of shelves full of toys that looked as though they had been well-loved for many years.

  Jackie walked in beside Steven, who was carrying Suzy. Suzy immediately started bucking.

  "Da, da, da," she cried as if to get her father's attention.

  "Want down?"

  "Dow," Suzy agreed, sticking half a hand in her mouth and nodding, those big blue eyes solemn and sure.

  Steven set her on her feet, and she headed toward the mats in the awkward but cute as heck zigzag motion of the newly walking, squealing with delight.

  "Party time," Jackie murmured, and Steven laughed.

  "As close to it as we get around these parts. No group birthday parties for the kids yet," he admitted.

  "Birthday party? Why, I was just thinking that we needed to get the children together more often," a tall, tanned blond woman said, moving very close to Steven. "It's so good to see you, Steven. You missed last week."

  For half a second Steven's eyes rested on Jackie. "I had some business last week," he said, and Jackie understood. He had been trying to decide what he was going to do about Suzy's biological mother.

  "Well, you're here with us now, and that's the important thing. You add so much to our group," the lady cooed with a smile.

  Steven didn't smile back. "This is my guest, Jackie Hammond," he said. "She's staying out at the ranch for a couple of weeks."

  "Oh?" the lady said.

  "Beverly Darvish," he said to Jackie, and Jackie stepped forward and held out her hand in one smooth motion, a practiced smile on her face. This woman clearly wasn't thrilled to see her, but then the business world had prepared her for those moments when people weren't inclined to be hospitable.

  "Pleased to meet you, Ms. Darvish," she said.

  "Are you a relative?" the lady asked, barely touching Jackie's hand, a tight frown on her face.

  "No, I'm—"

  But at that moment several other women bustled up, interrupting Jackie's speech. Just as well. Who was she going to tell them she was? What would Steven call her?

  "Jackie is my guest," he said firmly, his tone admonishing the woman for her rudeness.

  A small murmur went through the women. It almost sounded like a small growl, Jackie thought, but that was probably her imagination. It was not her imagination that the women didn't like her being here.

  Well, she had dealt with difficult clients before. "Excuse me, ladies, but I think Suzy needs us." Which was a bald-faced lie, since Suzy was contentedly jabbering with another baby who was examining a pink teddy bear.

  "Fatherhood calls," Steven agreed, and he took Jackie's arm in an exaggerated courtly gesture—just like something out of a historical romance—and led her away toward the baby corner.

  When they were far enough away that she could whisper without being overheard, Jackie leaned her head close to Steven's. "Don't they have husbands?"

  He shrugged. "Most do. That group doesn't. It's not a big deal. Usually."

  Maybe not, but when Jackie glanced over her shoulder, she saw Beverly glaring at her.

  "Don't worry. I don't think she can shoot fire this far," Steven said with a wink.

  "Hmm, I was more worried about the darts she's hiding in her purse and the bull's-eye I've grown on my back."

  "No problem," Steven said, and he placed his palm on her back as they continued to move toward Suzy.

  "Oh, that'll work," Jackie said, barely suppressing a giggle. "Now they'll really hate me. They already think I'm after you."

  "But you're not."

  "No," she said soberly, hoping she wasn't lying again. "I'm not." And
if she were after him, she wouldn't have any kind of a chance, anyway. Steven didn't want a wife. And if he did, there were several in that group who were much prettier than she was. That shouldn't have bothered her, but somehow it did. The little nip of pain was even worse than the one she had felt a few years ago, when Garret had switched his allegiance from her to Parris even though Parris had no interest in him.

  These women had a definite interest in Steven. And why not, she thought, watching him kneel down between the two babies.

  "Who wants a horsey ride?" he asked.

  The baby-jabbering grew more excited. Both Suzy and the little boy tried to climb on Steven.

  "Okay, okay, I think I can fit you both, but Jackie is going to have to help me. I don't want anyone sliding off and getting hurt."

  Immediately Suzy started tugging on Jackie's hand. "Ja," she said, which was the closest she had ever gotten to Jackie's name—something which brought an instant lump to Jackie's throat.

  She gave a tight nod and started to lift Suzy onto her father's back, then reached for the little boy.

  That sweet little wide-eyed innocent instantly gave Jackie a worshipful look. The magnitude of it stopped her cold for a second.

  "You're doing fine," Steven encouraged. "Absolutely perfect." Jackie looked at him and saw that he was studying her intently. "Perfect," he repeated. Between the three of them she had never felt so adored in her life.

  She smiled at Steven and dropped to her knees. "Okay, you two," she said. "Up you go. Hang on." And as Steven waited on all fours, Jackie helped both children on. She wrapped Suzy's arms around the little boy's waist and then Jackie held his hand as Steven began to move slowly around the mat.

  The little boy crowed and bucked. Suzy squeezed tight.

  "What's your friend's name, Suzy?" Jackie asked, knowing that Suzy wouldn't understand the question, but not wanting to talk over the children.

  Suzy smacked her lips. The little boy squealed again. Jackie leaned down. "Name?" she asked, touching the child's arm.

  "Name," he repeated.

  Jackie blinked.

  Steven started to chuckle.

  "Uh-oh," Suzy declared as both children started to slide.