Rodeo Bride Read online

  Lisa blinked. “I…yes. That would be great.”

  “I’ll go get him out of his bed.”

  Lisa’s eyes widened. “He won’t be screaming like last time, will he?”

  “No, he’s been awake for a while.” Colleen left the room and returned with Toby. “Sit right there. It’s a good chair with enough room for you and the baby.” She handed Toby over to Lisa as soon as the woman sat down. Then she prepared a bottle and handed it to Lisa, who was awkwardly holding the baby. Toby was listing slightly to one side.

  “He’ll be hungry,” Colleen assured her.

  “Hungry. Yes.” Lisa poked the bottle at Toby. Fortunately for her, he knew what the bottle was about and latched on to it, drinking it quickly. When he had finished, Lisa looked up, triumphant.

  Maybe the woman really did want to be a mother, Colleen thought, even though she was holding Toby away from her body as if he might explode at any minute. For Toby’s sake, she hoped that was true.

  “You’ll probably want to burp him now,” Colleen said. “I usually do.”

  “Of course. I know what I’m doing,” Lisa said. She started to bring her hand back.

  Colleen’s eyes widened. “Softly!” she said, just in time.

  Lisa’s hand slowed. She began an ineffectual series of movements, barely making contact. “Takes a long time, doesn’t it?” she asked, gritting her teeth. “What’s that smell?”

  “Baby,” Colleen offered. “Most people like it.”

  “Yes. Very nice.” Lisa smiled.

  Just then, Toby did what he did so well. He spit up all over Lisa’s hand, the curdled mess dropping onto her black dress.

  “Uck! My dress!” Lisa yelled. “Here! Here! Take him. Give me a wet cloth! This is a Versace. Colleen, help me.”

  Colleen frowned, but she took Toby and cuddled him to her. She gave Lisa a damp cloth and watched as Lisa rubbed at the milk stain.

  “In the future, you’ll probably want to wear something less fragile when you’re with Toby. These things happen.”

  Lisa frowned. There was a damp spot on her dress.

  “Here, take this,” Colleen told her, handing her an apron.

  “Excuse me?”

  “To protect your dress. Now that he’s spit up all over himself, he needs a bath. Here, we keep the tub on the counter. Just…prepare the water and we’ll get him all clean.”

  “Maybe you should prepare the water.”

  Good idea. Lisa might make it too hot or too cold. “All right. You hold Toby.”

  Lisa let out a long sigh. “I’ll do the water.”

  Colleen let her, but she nudged Lisa aside and adjusted the temperature before she would let her fill the tub. “You must have forgotten about making sure it’s not too hot,” she said.

  “Yeah, I forgot,” Lisa said. But she took Toby when the water was ready and made a rather ineffectual attempt to clean him, holding him at arm’s length. When she was done, Colleen handed her a diaper and gave her a pad to lay Toby on to change him. Lisa studied the diaper as if it were a puzzle. She started to put it under Toby. Colleen turned it around so that the diaper wouldn’t be backward.

  “I knew that,” Lisa said. She tried to put the diaper on without touching Toby and managed to get it fastened, albeit with gaps at his legs.

  Toby was getting impatient and starting to kick his legs around. He was starting to whimper. Up until now he had been relatively calm, willing to put up with the lady who had given him a bottle, but now his diaper was crooked and probably uncomfortable. He had managed not to gift his mother with the ultimate insult, but Lisa had barely gotten his diaper on and sat down with Toby when Colleen noticed that his diaper was already wet.

  “At least he waited until he was wearing a diaper,” she pointed out, but Lisa was holding him even farther away from her body than she had been before.

  “You change him,” she told Colleen. “I’ll have a nurse to do all this stuff, anyway.”

  To Colleen’s chagrin, Lisa looked as if she might cry. “Lisa,” she said gently, as she took the baby, quickly changed him and turned to face the other woman. “Why are you doing this? You obviously don’t really want to…to…” Be a mom, she had started to say, but that almost seemed too cruel. Even though she had no doubt that Lisa wouldn’t have hesitated to say the same thing to her.

  “I’m a year older than you. A year closer to thirty,” Lisa said. “I don’t even know who my father was, but my mother…we had no money. All those dresses I wore came from a thrift store fifty miles away. And I promised myself that I would have nice things when I grew up. But Dillon was so into his work that he didn’t even look when I bought a nice purse or nice shoes. And he didn’t care about parties. He was so boring, so into working and going off to save the world and…and boring. Still, when I divorced him, my unlimited supply of funds was limited. I need nice things, Colleen. I don’t want to be my mother.”

  Despite the petulant, spoiled sound of all that, there was something so sad about it. “Nice clothes won’t bring back the father you never knew, Lisa. You know that. They won’t buy you the attention you want.”

  “I get plenty of attention.”

  “And just look at this baby, Lisa. You helped make him. He’s wonderful.”

  Lisa looked at Toby. “He is pretty,” she said.

  “He’s very pretty,” Colleen agreed. “And he deserves to have…everything a child wants and needs.”

  Lisa froze. She looked at Colleen with cool, beautiful eyes. “And you think I can’t give him that, don’t you?”

  Suddenly, Colleen began to wonder at her own audacity in testing Lisa to see if she had a trace of loving mother buried inside. She had lied to Dillon to set this up, she had taken control from his hands and now…

  “I don’t know if you can, Lisa. You don’t really seem as if you want to take on the role of mother. And if this is just about money…if that’s all you’re after…”

  “Then what would you do, Colleen? You know me. I go after what I want and I get it.”

  “Not this time.”

  Lisa smiled sadly. “He is a pretty baby, but I told you, I need things, and Dillon has money.”

  “Toby and Dillon aren’t just tickets to pretty dresses.”

  Lisa shook her head. “I’m sorry, Colleen. I really am sorry it’s come to this between you and me, because this is a contest you’re going to lose. I never had anything against you when we were growing up.”

  “Maybe not, but you hurt people I liked. I’m not letting it happen again.”

  “So…all that stuff…the bath and the bottle was just a test to trip me up?”

  “I’d hoped you’d pass it.”

  “And I hope you know better than to cross me.” Lisa’s expression was cold. Her pretty eyes weren’t very pretty.

  Colleen felt a trickle of fear slip in, but she refused to give in to it. “I know better than to cross you. I’ve seen how you fight, but I’ll still stop you.” Colleen heard the door open, but she didn’t drop her gaze from Lisa. “I’ll do whatever it takes. You’re not going to ruin their lives for money.”

  “Of course I’ll win, Colleen. I have all the cards,” Lisa said, even though her voice sounded less certain than before.

  Slowly, Colleen shook her head. She stared straight into Lisa’s eyes. “You have powerful weapons, Lisa. They’ve helped you cheat and win for most of your life, but not this time. I have something better.”

  Lisa frowned as Dillon and Millie and Jace came through the door. “What do you have?” she demanded.

  Colleen was extremely aware of Dillon’s presence, but she couldn’t allow herself to be distracted. “I have friends in Bright Creek. So does Dillon. And I also have a good memory. I know everyone you hurt. If I have to, I’ll get down on my knees and beg them to tell their stories before a judge. I don’t want to hurt you, but I’ll do everything I can to keep you from harming Dillon and Toby. I promise you that.”

  “You’ll lose.” />
  For half a second, Colleen felt paralyzed remembering who she was and who Lisa was. Lisa had always been the best, the prize, the winner. Then, Colleen hazarded a glance at Dillon, who was studying her closely. But he wasn’t interfering. He was trusting her. She couldn’t fail him now. She raised her chin. “I might fail, but I don’t think so.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you have so much more to gain by not fighting and lying. If this goes to court, at least some people will see the less attractive side of you. I’ll force you to fight, and that won’t be pretty.”

  “It won’t be pretty for you, either.”

  “But that’s why I’ll win. Not being thought of as pretty doesn’t scare me a bit. I don’t need it.”

  Lisa paled just a bit. She tilted her head. “I never saw this side of you, Colleen.”

  “You never pushed me before.”

  “This…you said I had a lot to gain by…I assume by letting Dillon have Toby. What would I win?”

  Colleen felt Dillon’s eyes on her. She turned to look at him. His expression was indecipherable, but he hadn’t taken his eyes off of her. She sensed the tension in him and she knew he wanted to take over, but he was still letting her have her say.

  “Toby is a pretty baby,” Colleen reminded Lisa. “And Dillon is a good and loving father who’ll be fair in all ways. And if you don’t drag Toby through the mud, you’ll get to keep your untarnished image as the queen of the Lupine Festival. I won’t try to make you look ugly in the eyes of the citizens of Bright Creek.”

  Lisa shook her head. She frowned.

  “Don’t underestimate her, Lisa,” Dillon said. “You chose well when you chose her to care for Toby.”

  “I know that. At least give me credit for knowing that,” Lisa said.

  “I do,” he told her.

  “And just for the record,” Lisa said, “I know there’s been speculation about whether or not you’re really Toby’s father. You are. I was faithful until weeks after you went to war. He’s yours.”

  “He was always mine,” Dillon said, “but thank you for saying that.”

  And suddenly Colleen felt like an intruder. Her part here was over. Had she helped or harmed the situation? Dillon had complimented her, but would he, ultimately, end up regretting this day?

  Colleen turned to face him. Her skin felt tight, her spirits low. Maybe she’d just made a mess of everything. “I’ll just let you and Lisa talk now. I’m sorry that I lied to you about feeling sick. And that I didn’t tell you I was going to do this when I know we agreed to be up front about our plans.”

  He still hadn’t spoken, so she faced Lisa again. “What’s between you and Dillon and Toby is between the three of you, but he’s a wonderful little boy. You’ll miss a lot by underesimating the joy of being with him.”

  Lisa shook her head. “Not everyone can be a mother, Colleen.”

  As Colleen knew all too well. “Maybe not. I happen to believe that people can change their lives…if they want to. I believe in leaving doors open.”

  Lisa studied her for long seconds. “I never really knew you at all. You’re more interesting than I thought. And maybe a little more dangerous. I could almost like you if I wasn’t starting to hate you.” But her voice held no antipathy.

  Colleen shrugged. She started to leave.

  “Colleen.” Dillon’s voice stopped her. “We have to talk.”

  “I know. When you and Lisa are done, I’ll be upstairs.”

  She went upstairs and took out her suitcase and piled things in it. Millie had never unpacked. “I promise you,” she told Millie, “that someday I’ll make sure you get a trip where you get to see more, but…I can’t stay here now.”

  Millie slowly nodded. “You love him?”

  “I have to go home.”

  “But—”

  “I really have to leave,” she told Millie, zipping her bag shut. The shadow in the doorway told her that Dillon was here.

  “Toby’s in his bed, Millie,” he said.

  Millie didn’t even ask what he meant. She just left the room.

  Dillon stared at the suitcase. “You’re leaving.”

  “I don’t have any reason to stay any longer. I’ve talked to Jace and told him that I’m not sending his sculpture until he helps you choose the very best, most caring nanny in the world.” Her throat was closing up. Getting the words out was so difficult.

  “You did all that downstairs for me and Toby.”

  “I had to be sure she really didn’t want him and that she knew it wouldn’t be as easy as it’s always been for her before.”

  “You didn’t need to do this. Jace and my other employees and I had enough information about her actions in Europe to keep her from being able to threaten to take him from me. She’s giving up. We reached a compromise.”

  Somewhere Colleen found a small smile. “Good. I’m glad. but this way…I’m hoping that she can claim that giving him up was her own choice. Even if I threatened her, I hope she knows I’ll let her keep all the gold stars if she does the right thing. And maybe if the door stays open, she’ll find a part of her heart for him. She’s…I think she’s still avoiding issues left over from her childhood, and I just didn’t want her to be able to blackmail you. I had hoped that there was something maternal buried deep inside her. There isn’t…yet, but maybe someday there will be.”

  He ran his palm over her jaw. “I know what this must have cost you. You’re not a person who goes looking for trouble or controversy. And you’ve told me that you never mixed it up with Lisa the way other people did. To pit yourself against her…I…”

  He kissed her. It seared her soul. She fought tears.

  “I needed to do it,” she said, “and look. Everything is great now. You and Toby have a wonderful house and a wonderful life and I’ve got to get home and start working on my sculptures again and make sure Harve hasn’t run my ranch into the ground. It’s been…it’s been nice. It’s been a pleasure getting to know you, Dillon.”

  How was she maintaining that calm, friendly atmosphere? Colleen had no idea.

  “You could stay longer.”

  She shook her head. “No, I don’t…I just…can’t.” She rose on her toes slightly and kissed him, then turned toward the door.

  “I’ll drive you to the airport.”

  “No, that’s okay. We’ll take a cab.”

  “Dammit, Colleen, at least let me get you home. At least let me send you in a limo and in my airplane.”

  And because she was wild now just to be away before she broke down, she said yes. Somehow she would keep from doing anything that his employees could report back to him.

  She surged from the room. Millie was waiting with Toby in her arms. Colleen took Toby from her and kissed him.

  Darn those tears. She looked through them at Dillon as she handed over the little boy.

  Love him, she wanted to say, but she knew he would. Love me, she wanted to say, but she knew he couldn’t.

  “Goodbye, Dillon,” she whispered. “Thank you for sharing your child for a while.” Then she stumbled out of the house.

  Hours later, she was back on the ranch. It had been her sanctuary for years, the place that had protected her and insulated her from all the bad things in the world.

  This ranch was still her home, it was where she was needed, but…she didn’t need it to insulate her anymore. Dillon had pulled her out of herself. She’d thought things and said things and done things that wouldn’t have been possible weeks earlier. She no longer needed the crutch of a place to hide away from the world. What she needed was the man she loved.

  But his life was full, even more full than it had been when he had married Lisa. He had a major company to run that took up most of his time, a child to raise, social engagements. And those women in Chicago he’d meet weren’t just novelty items. Some of them would know how to help him with his company. They would be more than convenient caretakers of his son. And they didn’t have obligations in a state
many miles away, Colleen thought, as she rubbed Mr. Peepers down, said hello to the rest of her animals and prepared to throw herself into running the ranch again.

  This place and these tasks had always brought her forgetfulness before. Now, she hoped the ranch could help her get some perspective on Dillon and turn him into simply an unexpectedly nice memory.

  But for the first time in her life, the ranch felt hollow. And there were no answers or comfort to be had here.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  HE HAD let her go. Why had he let her go? Dillon was still asking himself that question days later.

  But he knew the answer. All of his life, whenever he started getting too close to people, they backed away. And Colleen had done more than back away from him. She had all but run from him.

  “She’s just a person who’s nice to everyone, Toby,” he told his son. “We don’t have an exclusive right to her, you know.”

  Toby was fussing with his fingers, chewing on his fist, looking generally unhappy and whimpering. The doctor had said he might be teething a bit early, but Dillon was sure that he missed Colleen.

  “I’m still amazed that she confronted Lisa to keep her from taking you from me,” he said. “It was a desperation move that required multiple lies, and our Colleen is not a liar. No matter how tough she tries to be, how much she tries to conceal things, the truth shows through in her eyes. See?” he said, clicking through the photos of Colleen and him and Toby on the CD Millie had sent him with her thank-you note. “Look at her eyes when she’s looking at you. She loves you, buddy, and I can’t believe that Lisa didn’t see that.”

  Toby started kicking and waving his arms when Colleen’s face came on the screen. Maybe it was wrong to show him these pictures. He might think Colleen was really here.

  But Dillon couldn’t tear his eyes away. And when a photo of him and Colleen together appeared, when he saw the expression in Colleen’s eyes as she turned to him…Dillon clicked through the photos again.

  And again. And again, always coming back to that one. He looked into Colleen’s pretty eyes. His heart began to pound. Then he turned to his child. “I know you’re too young to understand, but you need to know this about your father. Every major decision I’ve ever made in my life since I’ve been an adult was based on logic. And only logic. I—I’m ashamed to say this, but I married your mother because I thought she’d make a good CEO’s wife, I went overseas because I knew I could do some good, I went looking for you when I didn’t even know if you were really mine, because…all right, that might not have been logic, but it didn’t concern a woman, either. I don’t lose my heart to women, Toby, and if I did, I’d ignore it. Logic tells me that following my heart ends up burning me every time. And being burned by Colleen would be much, much worse than being burned by any other woman. But…