Just Pretending Page 14

  His hand shook and she swayed against him.

  Somehow he got rid of the glass. Somehow she was up against his heart.

  “Do you have anything else you need to do tonight?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “There’s the bouquet, but then I don’t need to be there for that this time. And anyway, Pamela will understand if I’m gone. She probably won’t even notice. Her eyes haven’t left Raymond all night long.”

  “If we leave, Gretchen,” David whispered, his voice thick as he dipped the fingers of one hand into her hair, “I can’t make any promises to behave like a gentleman.”

  He leaned and dropped a kiss on the bare skin of her shoulder. His fingers grazed the gentle slope of her breast above her dress.

  She swallowed hard. “If we don’t leave David, I can’t promise that we won’t both embarrass all the other guests.”

  And so he swept her close. Somehow they crossed the ballroom, the lobby, found the elevator and closed themselves in together.

  The door closed and he tugged her close, claimed her lips.

  She placed her palms against his chest and pulled herself closer.

  “I want us to make love,” she managed to get out.

  “I don’t think there’s any doubt that we’re going to,” he said as the door started to open and he glanced up, his lips still fastened to Gretchen’s, just in time to see an elderly couple waiting to get in.

  David reached out and pressed the Close Door button. He snatched Gretchen closer and heard the couple’s soft laughter, saw the man’s thumbs-up as the door locked them in again.

  “Are they gone?” Gretchen whispered.

  “Mmm,” he agreed.

  “Good.” She wrenched her lips from his and began to rain kisses over his face, his chin. She touched her lips to his Adam’s apple and busied her fingers with tugging open his tie.

  When the door of the elevator opened this time, David scooped Gretchen into his arms and carried her down the hall. He could feel the lovely curves of her legs beneath the thin, slippery cloth of her dress.

  “What are you wearing beneath this, love?” he asked, stopping long enough to kiss her lips once more, to savor the feel of her slender fingers against his scalp.

  “Not much,” she whispered. “Hurry, David.”

  He was, as she’d said, a fast learner. In a matter of seconds, David was at her door, she was leaning over in his arms to insert the key card and then, at last, they were alone in her room.

  Letting her slide down the length of him, he waited until her feet found the floor. Then he reached behind her, gently gathered her wrists in his own and walked her slowly backward until her legs hit the side of the big bed. He swept his hands up her sides, his fingers resting on the low-slung straps that grazed her arms.

  “Are you sure, Gretchen? Be very sure you know what you’re doing. I’d do my best to turn back if we took this over the edge, but it would be much easier to do so now.”

  And yet his fingers shook against her skin. She closed her eyes and let the essence of him surround her. The gentle flexing of his fingertips on the straps, the knowledge that he was going to touch her at last, the fear that he would not touch her, filled her.

  She opened her eyes, reached up as she gazed into the fiery depths of his green eyes. She grasped the lapels of the black suit that sat so well on his broad shoulders and she opened his jacket, shoving it off his shoulders. She slipped off the tie she’d unfastened earlier. She grasped the crisp white front of his shirt.

  “David?”

  “Yes, love?” Being a somewhat tall woman, there weren’t many men who towered over her and made her feel small, or feminine. But when she looked up at that stunningly handsome face, she did feel feminine. The thought that countless other women had no doubt stood just this way with him rankled. He really was too good-looking for any woman’s good. But she wasn’t just any woman. She was herself, Gretchen Neal, and she wasn’t going to wait for what she wanted.

  She rose up on her toes, parted her lips and slid them across David’s. Slowly. Once. Twice. Again.

  He groaned, but still he didn’t claim her with his arms. Her head was spinning, her breasts were aching where she’d pressed herself close against him.

  “David,” she whispered again.

  “You know I want you, love,” he said with a low moan against her lips. She could hear the slightest hesitation in his voice. And suddenly she was tired of all the questions, all the hesitation, all the good intentions and wise words she’d spoken these past couple of weeks.

  The swirling longing that David called up in her was dangerous. The man himself was dangerous, and right now danger was just what she wanted. Mostly, though, she wanted David. His touch, his skin beneath her fingers, his length and weight pressing her into the depths of the bed, covering her.

  “I want you, too, David. Please. Have me,” she said in a frantic whisper, and with a quick wrench, she pulled on the shirt she was still holding clenched between her fingers. Buttons flew, and suddenly all that was between David’s chest and her breasts was one small bit of silk that covered her.

  He tightened his fingers on the slim straps of her gown and gently pulled downward, sliding her dress over her breasts and past her hips, letting the thin material slither to the ground. Only the slightest touch of silk panties covered her now.

  David stared at her for long seconds. Her nipples stiffened beneath his gaze and he cupped one breast in his hand, lifted the soft round swell and kissed the sensitive bud.

  She was going to faint. The sensation was simply too great as David kissed and suckled her, tugging gently on the turgid tip. When he moved to the other breast, she grasped his shoulders, digging in her fingers to keep from falling.

  But he was there. Lifting her onto the bed, David shrugged out of what was left of his shirt. He lowered himself over her and claimed her lips again.

  His hand stroked downward, outlining her from shoulder to breast to hip to knee. When he tugged his lips from her own, she surged upward. Nothing mattered at this moment but the magic of David’s touch, and he was taking it away.

  “Don’t leave,” she whispered, lacing her arms around him, urging him back to her.

  “Not a chance,” he whispered, his voice strained as he reached for his belt buckle. She stopped him with her touch, rising to her knees, rolling her head forward languorously as she freed him, exposed him and he peeled away the last layers that shielded him from her gaze.

  She’d seen plenty of naked men before, of course. She was not untried, and besides, she operated daily in a man’s world, a rough world. But she had never seen a man so clearly made for giving pleasure to a woman.

  He was magnificently formed, his long, thick shaft standing proudly from his body.

  She reached for him without thought and he surged into her hand then backed away.

  “No. It has to be good. For you.”

  “It will be,” she promised, reaching for him again.

  “It will be,” he promised as well, urging her back onto the bed. He removed the tiny patch of silk that still covered her and pulled her into his arms, breast to chest, thigh to thigh. Framing her face with his hands, he pleasured her with deep, long kisses.

  He slid his body down the length of hers, kissing her shoulder, suckling at the tip of her breast, feathering his fingers down the inside of her thigh and then placing his lips there lightly, as well.

  Pressure built within her, making her weak and helpless with longing and need.

  “David, please,” she said on a gasp, digging her fingers into his shoulders. “Be with me.”

  And he rose up above her. He gazed down at her, naked want in his eyes, and she opened to him. She welcomed him as he took care that she was safe and then entered her fully.

  The feel of him filling her, joined to her, thick and long and strong, was exquisite, an ecstasy almost beyond bearing. His body came into hers, touching her over and over in the most pleasurable places. />
  She arched to meet him, rocked with him. Her muscles tightened around him. She grasped his biceps, shifting her hips, bringing him in deeper, and she felt the tension in his skin beneath her fingertips.

  “Not yet.” David choked out the words as she pulled him deeper still. “Not yet. Not alone.”

  And he slowed his movements, gasping for breath as he fought for control. He gained a small measure, gazing down into her eyes, his own dark with barely caged desire.

  Her own need spilled over.

  “Please,” she whispered again. “Yes. Yes, now.”

  He tumbled her back. He took her down, took charge as he braced himself above her. He slid into her depths again and began the final movement. He held her gently by her wrists just above her head and thrust into her. Slowly, slowly, caressing her inside and out, turning her to melted butter. Making her hot beyond belief.

  Craving climbed within her, building as he moved in her. Slow and then fast. He played her body, and she wanted—she needed—to reach the pinnacle he was urging her to. Too slowly.

  “You’re making me crazy,” she said, biting her lip, her head lolling softly on the pillow.

  “I’m past crazy, love. I’m barely hanging on.” And then he reached down, just barely, expertly brushing one finger over that part of her where her body was joined to his, and she couldn’t stop herself from spinning out of her body and into the sun. Hot pleasure flooded her. She heard David shout her name as he drove thick and hard into her one last time.

  She fell back against the pillows and wondered if she’d ever be able to move again. And then she stopped wondering as she relaxed into drowsiness and let her suddenly leaden limbs rest.

  The clock ticked. The time passed.

  After long moments of simply waiting for thought and steady heartbeat and even breathing to return, David gathered her close in his arms. He touched his lips to her hair.

  She remembered wishing that she could always feel this wonderful, this glowing. She had never lost herself so completely. She had felt so storm-tossed and yet still safe. Surely she had been right to give in to this.

  Chapter Ten

  “No.” The word sounded in her head so clearly that Gretchen could almost have sworn that she had spoken it out loud. This morning her head was only slightly fuzzy, slightly pained, but the sense that something was very wrong was excessively strong. And she knew just what that something wrong was. She’d thrown common sense out the window last night.

  Turning her head to the side, she looked right into David’s eyes. He wasn’t smiling.

  She sat bolt upright in bed, clutching the sheet to her.

  “It seems—” She couldn’t quite get the words out of her mouth without needing to close her eyes, without stumbling.

  “Gretchen.” One word, a deep command in his voice. “Look at me.”

  She did. His eyes were dark green, worried.

  “It seems we made a mistake,” she finished.

  “Like hell we did.”

  “I probably had too much to drink. Maybe you did, too,” she whispered. “Otherwise—”

  “We didn’t have too much to drink. And we knew this was going to happen someday, Gretchen. We were going to make love one way or another.”

  She froze, spearing him with a look. “You would have forced me?”

  Dark anger flooded his eyes. He sat up and reached out for her. She scooted back against the headboard.

  “Damn it, Gretchen. You know there would have been no force.”

  “You’re right.” She couldn’t keep the coldness from her voice. “I seem to have a surprising lack of control where you’re concerned.”

  “Which really ticks you off, doesn’t it?”

  She blew out a long breath. “You don’t understand, David.” Her voice softened.

  He rose up on his palms, leaning over her. “I understand. You value your privacy. You don’t want anyone breaking down those barriers you put up, and you don’t trust me to honor those barriers. You don’t trust me not to push.”

  She opened her mouth to answer, then closed it again. Because the truth was much more frightening than that, as far as she was concerned. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him not to push. She didn’t trust herself not to give in. This man had the power to make her feel too much. And feeling more than she should could only lead her down paths she would regret and down paths he would regret, as well. David wanted her, but he was a man who chose to be a loner and who was here on a temporary assignment. In no time at all, he would be returning to his own world and she would stay in hers.

  “We can’t do this again, David,” she whispered. “It was a mistake.”

  “All right, then,” he suddenly agreed, his voice low and calm. “It was a mistake.”

  He meant that, David thought as they both went about the business of getting ready to leave. Making love to Gretchen had been a mistake, because back in his room, imagining her in the shower with warm fingers of water caressing her body, he already wanted her again. He was losing control where this woman was concerned. He wanted her way too much, too often. She seldom left his thoughts for long. And yet there was no future here. She wanted a life alone. He could understand that. He’d been a loner too long not to know the lure of that life. She was a woman who had given and given all her life, a woman who’d grown up in a big family and had had responsibility thrust on her all during the years when she should have been carefree and unencumbered by burdens.

  He wanted to tell her that he would never take advantage of her that way and yet, he couldn’t promise that. Because right now he wanted to ask a great deal of her. At this point in time, he couldn’t be trusted from one minute to the next. Not where Gretchen was concerned. His feelings were intensifying and that was dangerous. To her and to him. Growing up sickly, cut off from children his own age, he’d wanted so much. Too much. That need to belong, that longing to be a part of a world that was closed to him, had nearly driven him mad as a child. Until he’d learned to submerge those needs, to depend only on himself. And now he was starting to feel that intense longing again.

  Gretchen was right. Getting too involved with her would be a mistake. He’d do his best to keep things light and easy from now on. As for desire, that could be managed, too. He’d always been able to handle it before.

  The only thing he couldn’t manage was returning things to the way they’d been before they’d made love. No matter how much they both wanted to deny it, that intimacy couldn’t be forgotten. It would change things. He wasn’t sure how or by how much, but there would definitely be a difference. There was just no road back to yesterday.

  “Okay, next verse,” Gretchen said with a laugh the following Monday. David watched her as she sat cross-legged and hugging a guitar in the center of a circle of giggling children, leading them through a song she had made up to teach them safety rules. The song was silly, but the rules were very real and David was sure that the children would remember them much better than they would have if Gretchen had simply written a list on the chalkboard.

  At a pause in the song, a solemn little red-haired girl tugged on Gretchen’s sleeve and when Gretchen smiled down at her, the little girl leaned close. “Agent Hannon isn’t singing,” the child whispered a bit too loudly. “He looks mad.”

  Gretchen looked up from her position on the floor to where David was lounging easily against the wall, his arms crossed.

  “He does look a bit…tense,” she teased.

  David couldn’t help smiling then. And why not? Gretchen, after all, had been treating him to her own smile all morning, convinced that she had finally tamed him by bringing him in as a “class room exhibit.” She was looking absolutely beautiful in pale gray, her hair slightly mussed after a long session with the children. And yes, David acknowledged, he supposed he had looked a bit angry just a moment ago. He had been frowning, at least.

  Because that smile of Gretchen’s was so damned tempting. And also because the lady was clearly, totally in
her element with these children and yet he knew she had decided not to get married and have any of her own. It was a crime, if anything was. He’d been mulling over that fact, and regretting it.

  But then, who was he to challenge the lady’s choices when she’d obviously made them carefully? She didn’t think she was up to making the sacrifices that marriage would entail. Well, who was he to talk when he was pretty darn sure that he wasn’t a prime choice for marriage, either?

  And why was he frowning and upsetting innocent children when absolutely none of this was their fault?

  David gave a deep inner sigh. He pulled his thoughts back into place, back where they should be. He turned to the little girl and gave her a wink and a grin.

  “Sorry for looking like a thundercloud. I was just sulking because you weren’t paying any attention to me,” he teased. “Detective Neal looks like she’s having all the fun.”

  The little girl giggled as Gretchen rolled her eyes.

  “Well, then, Agent Hannon,” Gretchen said, patting the floor beside her. “Why don’t you come over here and help us out? We could use a baritone.”

  “She only keeps me around for my voice,” he said in a mock sorrowful tone as he took a place in the circle of children.

  “And so you can help her fight the bad guys,” one little boy said. “That’s what you do, isn’t it?”

  David turned to the wide gray eyes of the little boy who was looking right and left, first at Gretchen, then at himself. He was rocking and fidgeting, clearly excited. “I’d like to fight those guys, too,” he confided.

  David knew just how the skinny little guy who was way too small to fight anyone bigger than a watermelon felt. He’d been that child once a long time ago. But he also knew things he hadn’t known then.

  “My job is to protect, yes, but it’s more important to prevent,” he confided. “Listen to the words of the song Gretchen is singing. All those things are designed to keep you as safe as possible so the bad guys won’t have a chance. That’s fighting them in your own way.”

  The little boy narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “Aw, we hear those rules all the time. They don’t do anything. And it’s the same old stuff every year.”