Their Little Cowgirl Page 11

  He waited for her response, and finally she stared directly into his eyes. "Work can be very rewarding. Mine makes me happy," she said firmly.

  That was a good thing. She should be happy. But he didn't want her to be alone. He didn't want her to be with a man, either. Add those two together and they didn't make a stitch of sense.

  "That's good," he told her. "I want you to be happy." And without thinking, he took a step closer.

  "I will be," she said, but her voice was quiet and choked. Somehow he didn't believe her. He remembered how she had looked holding Suzy while she read. She was going to have to give up that part of her life, such a precious part. It was the only way. And he realized how he would feel if he had to give up holding his daughter and reading her fairy stories and tucking her in at night.

  "What a mess," he said beneath his breath.

  "I know. I shouldn't have come, I think," she said, and her voice was almost a whisper. "I might have to leave soon, anyway. Parris called me this morning. She's having problems."

  "You don't have to leave yet?"

  She shook her head vehemently. "No, not yet."

  "Good." And against everything his mind was telling him, ignoring all the warning bells he had been listening to for days, he stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders. He felt her softness beneath his fingertips and he was lost.

  "Jackie," he whispered, and then he pulled her close and placed his lips on hers.

  She moved into him as if she had been born for this moment. Her body fitted to his in just the right way.

  He tasted her and found that she was warm and sweet and just as he had remembered. She was perfect, and he couldn't keep from nuzzling her. He placed one palm just beneath her breast.

  "You can tell me to stop and I'll try," he somehow managed to say, wishing she would and hoping she wouldn't.

  "No, I can't. I can't," she said on a whispered cry as she returned his kisses. "I want to, but I can't. Help me, Steven."

  And that was enough. She didn't want this, not really, and he couldn't force it on her.

  Slowly he released her. Gently, he stroked her hair away from her face.

  He looked down at her and saw that he had broken her, at last, now that he didn't want to. He was going to hurt when she was gone, but at least he would still have Suzy.

  She would only have…what?

  "Do you and your sister get along? Are you close?"

  She blinked as if she didn't understand him. Then, finally, she shook her head. "We barely know each other. She's my half sister and we weren't raised together. My father divorced my mother to marry her mother. Not long ago, he deeded one of his failing businesses to both of us, so we do our best to get by with each other, I guess."

  The jerk, he thought. What kind of a father was that, to give her only crumbs? And he was sure that was the way it was from things Jackie had let slip before. She only got the bits and pieces, and now she wouldn't even get that with Suzy. When she returned home she would, essentially, be alone, he thought, wanting to swear but not allowing himself to. And she would only have two weeks of memories of Suzy. This kiss—and all the others they had shared—was proof enough that the two of them could never see each other again after these two weeks. They couldn't risk the aftermath, or hurting Suzy.

  "I'll have your bed moved in here," he said suddenly. "You can spend the next few days in her room. You can be with her as much as possible. I'll give you pictures of her. I'll give you what memories I can."

  She looked up at him with stricken eyes. Her fingertips were on her lips. He hated himself for hurting her.

  "Thank you," he thought he heard her murmur, but he couldn't be sure. He was already headed out the door.

  "It's the bunkhouse for you, Rollins," he told himself later. "You just keep your distance from Jackie until the day she has to leave."

  Yes, he would do that, because he could see that he was hurting her every time he touched her. He was taking advantage of the fact that she was already missing Suzy and not fully in control of her emotions. He wasn't in control of his emotions, either, but that didn't matter.

  Jackie was at risk. So if he had to, he would ask Ben to set him straight if he tried to go near her again. Ben was no fool. He was a very wise man, and he would do what was best for everyone concerned. Thank goodness for that.

  "Every time those two touch, things just seem to get worse," Merry said, glancing into her cell phone. "I don't like this turn of events at all. Is the man really going to the bunkhouse? What's that all about?"

  But she listened in as Steven talked to Ben.

  "Good idea," Ben said. "She's a pretty little thing, as sweet as they come, and I don't blame you at all for being tempted. But if she doesn't want to get married and you don't want to, either, then the smartest thing you two can do is stay far, far away from each other. If you don't, that baby is going to get caught in the middle and get hurt."

  "I know that," Steven said, and somehow his voice didn't even sound like his own. "That's why I'm counting on you to remind me to be smart if I forget."

  "Don't worry," Ben said. "I'll make sure the two of you stay apart."

  "No!" Merry cried, and she threw the cell phone across the room. Then, realizing that she might have broken her only link with Steven and Jackie, she rushed over and picked it up off the floor, her knees aching as she did so.

  "I need a miracle," she whispered. "Just one little miracle." But where was she going to get one? And how was she going to keep Ben from ruining everything when he was there and she was many miles away?

  Chapter Eleven

  Jackie put Suzy down to play with her family of stuffed animals and plopped down on the floor next to her. But within seconds Suzy was crying, reaching out to be held, her little face tense and scared.

  "What's the matter, sweetheart?" Jackie asked, crooning to the baby, swaying as she picked her up and held her.

  Suzy stuffed her fist into her mouth. She quieted a bit, but not completely.

  What am I doing to you? Jackie couldn't help thinking. Suzy was starting to cry for her, to depend on her. And, worse, Steven was staying away from this little girl who absolutely adored the ground he walked on. All because of me, Jackie thought. I'm wedging my way in here, making Suzy dependent on me, keeping her from her daddy.

  "That's just not right," she murmured as she turned her face to the child's velvety cheek and gave her a kiss. And so she walked the floor with Suzy, rocked her, sang to her. Eventually, the little girl drifted into a restless sleep.

  "Do you want me to put her to bed?" Charlotte asked.

  No, Jackie thought. I want to do everything for her. I don't want to be apart from her. But that wasn't right, either. She had to start weaning herself from Suzy and Suzy from her. And Charlotte had given up so much of her own time with the child. The woman loved this baby so much, she must have missed all the close contact.

  "Thank you," Jackie said, and she even managed a smile.

  "She gets to you, doesn't she?" Charlotte asked, nodding to Suzy whose body had gone limp in Jackie's arms.

  "I never knew it would be like this."

  "I know just what you mean. Single women miss out on some things, don't we?"

  And the two women gazed at each other knowing that here, at least, they shared an unbreakable bond.

  "She misses Steven, I think," Jackie said. "He's been so busy."

  Charlotte looked away, but she gave a nod. "He had me fix up a picnic basket for you and Suzy for when she wakes up. I've got directions to a good shady spot when you're ready to go."

  "Just the two of us?"

  "Sounded that way."

  "Where does—what have the men been doing for lunch? When I first came here, they sometimes came to the house."

  Charlotte shrugged as she eased Suzy from Jackie's arms. "Oh, they're men. I cook for them, but they just haven't come in lately. The food doesn't go to waste. I just save it for supper. Anyway, I wouldn't worry. They're pretty go
od at taking care of themselves when they have to. Heck, they'd eat rocks if that was all there was."

  "Maybe they just don't have time to come in. Maybe I should bring them something to eat."

  "Maybe you're asking for trouble."

  The two women exchanged a look. "You're most likely right, Charlotte. I've been known to do that. Look how I forced Steven to bring me here against his wishes. But I can't enjoy your delicious picnic lunch if I think Steven is staying away so he won't disturb Suzy and me. And I'm pretty sure that's what he's doing. What do you think?"

  "I think you're going to do whatever you want to do no matter what I say," Charlotte grumbled, but she didn't really look mad.

  "You think I'm wrong?"

  Charlotte laughed. "No, I think you're right, but I don't think Steven's going to just let you lead him here. You need ammo."

  Jackie laughed at that, and it was the first time she'd laughed in days. "Charlotte, I have ammo. All I have to do is wave your fried chicken under any of the men's noses and they'll stop what they're doing and follow me. Then Steven will have to come, too, unless he wants to do all the work alone."

  "You are a devil," Charlotte declared with a chuckle. "I can't think why I didn't like you that first day. You remind me of myself."

  "Why, thank you, Charlotte. Now where's that basket? I am a woman on a mission. This little munchkin needs her daddy and I intend to rope him and bring him in, figuratively speaking of course."

  Jackie started heading toward the door.

  "Jackie?"' Charlotte called.

  Jackie turned.

  "You might think about losing the pumps and the skirt if you're going to be walking around in the pastures. Wear boots and take my Jeep and the cell phone. Just in case you get lost or stuck or stepped on or mashed up," she added. "A horse would be better, but…"

  "I know, I know. I'm a city girl, and I don't know how to ride a horse." Jackie sighed in frustration.

  Charlotte looked apologetic. "Not exactly a crime."

  Jackie gave her a you've-got-to-be-kidding look. "It's not a crime at La Torchere. Here, it turns me into an outsider."

  "You don't have to go out there looking for him."

  Jackie looked at Suzy. Even in sleep she didn't seem as happy as usual. "Yes, I do," she said. "This baby needs her father." She didn't want to think about the fact that her own heart was soaring at the thought of seeing Steven again. Steven didn't want a woman. She wondered if he was still in love with his wife. Not that it mattered. They had both agreed they wouldn't suit.

  "Just get the boots," she told herself as she marched upstairs. "And try not to look too much like a city girl." And try even harder not to look too eager to throw yourself in Steven's arms.

  "Damn it all, Ben," Steven said. "I can't believe I did that. It's been years since I've been young enough to have an excuse for driving a vehicle into a ditch." He looked at the truck sitting half in the mud.

  Ben took his hat off and scrubbed one hand back through his thinning hair. "Could be your mind was about as far away as a teenage boy's. Could be you were thinking about something else…or someone else."

  Steven didn't even try to pretend he didn't know what Ben was talking about. "No excuses. If I was thinking about someone else, then I shouldn't have been."

  Ben didn't argue with him.

  "Well, we'd better try to move this thing," Steven said.

  "Should I call Hoagie?"

  "Nah, I gave him and Ed a truckload of work this morning. I'd rather not pull them in if I don't have to."

  Ben grinned. "You mean you'd rather not let them see that the boss does stupid things, too, now and then?"

  Steven laughed. "That's about it." But inside he wasn't laughing. He'd done more stupid things since Jackie had come into his life than he could remember doing in years. He wondered when he would get back to being sensible and content again. "Get in the cab, Ben. I'll push."

  Ben did, but the truck was having none of it. The wheels spun in the mud.

  Steven slammed his hat against the back of the truck. "All right, let's try again. Let's see if you can't back it up just a bit and we'll get a fresh start." And he moved out of the way.

  "Need some help?" At the sound of Jackie's cheerful voice, both Steven and Ben stopped what they were doing and turned to look. She was leaning out the driver's side of Charlotte's flame-red Jeep. Her eyes were wide, as was her smile. She was just about the prettiest thing Steven had ever seen. He wanted to scoop her up and eat her right then and there, but at that moment Ben cleared his throat. He cleared it twice, ending on a sound that resembled a donkey's bray. Steven remembered that he was supposed to be staying away from Jackie.

  "Where's Suzy?" he asked, forcing himself to make his voice deep and grumpy.

  "Sleeping." Jackie didn't lose her smile. Damn the woman. Didn't she know that she was in danger of being kissed if she didn't stop looking at him that way?

  Steven stared.

  Ben cleared his throat more forcefully. He was practically coughing now.

  "You really should do something about that throat, Ben," Jackie told him. "I probably have something back at the house that would help. If not, I'm sure Charlotte has some home remedy she could mix up. We'll do that, just as soon as we get your truck out of the mud. What can I do to help here?"

  And just like that, she hopped out of the Jeep, an eager look on her face. She was wearing jeans that hugged her hips and a cute little formfitting T-shirt that had tumbling teddy bears on the front—probably something that Charlotte had picked up in town for her, since he had seen them at the local department store. She was half a foot shorter than either he or Ben and a good deal lighter. He remembered that she had been raised in the city.

  Steven exchanged a look with Ben, then turned back toward Jackie. He couldn't help smiling at her. Heck, he couldn't seem to stop looking at Jackie, and he realized that it seemed like forever since he had last seen her. "You just stay right where you are," he said in a voice that seemed to catch. "Ben and I are used to this sort of thing, and if we can't get it out, we have men we can call on."

  Jackie gave him a weary, patient look. "Do not patronize me, Rollins. I may have been born in the city, I may not know which end of a horse is the one you feed the carrots to, I may be skittish around cows and other barnyard animals, and I may even be smaller than you. But I learned how to drive anything on wheels when I was barely old enough to have a driver's license. My mother liked to be chauffeured, and she changed cars every few months." Her tempo had picked up as she talked. Her blue eyes were practically flashing sparks.

  Steven grinned. "You're incredibly pretty when you get indignant," he said, wondering where those words had come from. Jackie stopped short.

  "Are you trying to distract me, Steven Rollins?"

  Distract her? A vision of himself reeling her in tight against his body, laying his lips on hers, sliding his palms over her breasts and doing his best to distract her, came to mind. It was all he could do to stand still and not grab for her.

  "I'm just saying that this is a big truck," he said, totally changing the subject.

  "And I may not be nearly as big as you or Ben, but I could at least drive while the two of you push. That wouldn't be so tough, would it? I promise not to run you down. Unless you start insulting me again."

  Ben gave a choked laugh.

  Steven gave her a slow smile. "Was I insulting you? When? When I said that you were pretty?"

  "I don't like to be lied to or manipulated, and that's what you were trying to do. That's what was insulting. I'm not pretty and never have been," she said.

  Steven shook his head. "Lady, you are so dead wrong it doesn't even bear speaking about. And I would never insult you. So get out of the truck, Ben, and let her in."

  Ben gave him an incredulous look. "You're going to trust someone that little with a truck this size?"

  "I trust her with my child," Steven said quietly.

  And Ben shut up. Good thing, too,
because within minutes—and with the two of them pushing—Jackie had guided the truck out of the ditch.

  She climbed out of the truck and tossed Ben the keys. "Charlotte has fried chicken and peach pie at the house," she told him.

  Ben stared at her. He looked away, then shook his head, hitting his hat against his leg.

  "Fresh from the oven peach pie," Jackie whispered.

  "Dammit, don't do that," Ben said. Then he turned to Steven. "What can I say? She knows my weakness, and I don't think you're going to want me here anyway. I'm headed for the house. Be careful." And he drove off and left Jackie alone with Steven.

  After Ben's departure, all that could be heard was the humming of insects and the songs of the birds. Jackie found a dry, green patch of ground and plopped herself down. "I brought the picnic basket, if you're hungry."

  He sat beside her. "Fried chicken and peach pie? I'm not Ben. I'm not that easy. And, no, I'm not hungry yet. You wanted something, I figure. Let's get to it."

  "How do you figure?"

  He held out his big hands, palms out. "You've stayed near the house most of the time you've been here. I've never once seen you drive Charlotte's Jeep, and she doesn't loan it to just anyone, or for frivolous reasons."

  Jackie nodded. "You're right. I have an agenda and it's not a frivolous one. I want you to come home."

  Steven's breath froze in his chest. Home, she had said, but he knew she didn't mean it that way. He shook his head. "When I'm home, I…crowd you." He looked at her and let her see the naked, heated desire in his eyes. He did not want her misunderstanding him. He wanted to touch her very badly. He wanted her in his bed, every cell of her naked body against his. No space between them, no room for anything except raw passion.

  The pulse at the base of her throat fluttered. "I crowd you, too," she said in a shaky voice, "but that can't matter right now. Suzy needs you. She misses you. That's not right."